Art has always been a powerful medium for self-expression and emotional release. For me, a young student, art initially served as a simple pastime, a way to spend time during recess while other kids played outside.
When the pandemic struck, I was just AN ACTUAL CHILD. Initially, staying inside with my family didn’t seem too bad. But as puberty hit, I began to feel the weight of unresolved childhood issues. These problems, which had been hidden away, suddenly resurfaced, bringing with them a sense of overwhelming emotional turmoil. I felt isolated and unable to share these feelings with anyone, knowing it would only make things worse.
In an unconscious attempt to dissociate from these overwhelming emotions, I turned to art. I drew my favorite characters, self-inserts, and worlds where my mind could escape. This form of escapism provided temporary relief, but it was not a sustainable way to cope with my feelings. The emotions continued to build up inside, and eventually, I could no longer run from them.
One day, all of my suppressed feelings resurfaced with a force that could not be ignored. Despite my best efforts to use imagination as a shield, the emotions remained persistent. Feeling trapped and alone, I remembered that many artists use art to express their feelings rather than escape from them. Inspired by this realization, I decided to confront my emotions head-on through my drawings.
Instead of using art as a means of dissociation, I began to let my emotions guide my pencil. Each drawing became a reflection of my inner thoughts in a symbolic way, capturing my fears, hopes, and struggles. As the days passed, I started to see my art as a mirror of my soul, a way to understand and accept my emotions.
This new approach to art provided me with a sneaky yet effective way to cope with my feelings, even in a world that suppresses my want to feel. Through my drawings, I found a safe space to explore and process my emotions, leading to a deeper understanding of myself.
As time went on and the pandemic eventually ended, I looked back on how much I had changed. I had friends and school to keep me grounded, but nothing could compare to drawing. The transformation in my meaning of art—from a mere pastime to a vital tool for emotional expression and healing—was profound. I'm glad that my relationship with art had evolved in such a meaningful way, providing me with a lifelong means of navigating my inner world.